After the marriage I showed her my complete collection of fungus and mold.

My wart hog will offer you his blessings. Now go!

Internet fighting sparks online fart club, and everyone is joining in.

Don't tell me you're playing with my shrimp again.

I implore to use any name for your baby, but not that one: Turkey Vulture.

I would say your girl friend is perfect, and cute, and she is also a gold fish.

She might not have been perfect, but she was a woman, and I told her so myself once.

We have gone from being ducks, and evolved into hairy circus animals.

She just assumed I was a white guy, but actually I am a sea creature.

Men want to be him, trans women already are.

With all the selfies she gave, people gave her all their attention and liked her constantly. She died with a smile on her face.

Just because someone is young doesn't mean they are composed of liquid gold.

If someone loves you when you smell bad, that means they are an obsessive fan and dig everything about you.

The government had given him freedom, but forgot to give him a jet pack!

Suddenly she lopped his head off and began eating her raw steak.

This time she was found in the barn with the weirdo, and nobody knew, but now they do!

Bill Hole is the most understood person to the judgmental crowd, but it matters not.

When you aim low you will find yourself hanging out with Bill Hole and he will greet you with his big smile and offer you some fruit cake.

America can do it, but it will not be easy, and hard workers can be found, and must show up, and do the work, to get the mud mixed with some kind of love.

And inside of the cave, the ocean could be heard roaring and hissing. Like a mirror it shared a vision of eternity, and its lost souls in the foam that was forming.

Downplaying the Truth: In The Jewish Journal, Peter Himmelman argues that public figures invoking the tragedy and horrors of the Holocaust without including that Jews were specifically targeted are not just doing a disservice to the memory of the victims but distorting history. “Again and again, Hitler framed Jews as the carriers of an idea that threatened his ability to dominate: that law stands above rulers, that truth exists outside power, that the weak have moral standing, that the wise use of restraint is strength. These were the very ideas Nazism sought to destroy. The murder of Jews was therefore not incidental to the Nazi project. It was its metaphysical center.” [JewishJournal]