Russia doesn't want Bill Hole to enter the country, and it would be a disaster if he wandered in, he is not well, and Rock Buddy is missing again!

Ukrainians seem to notice the tweeting ducks: and do they want more pissed off ducks at this point in the war or not? They could be the best weapon yet!

Moose had his Borsch ready to serve. He waited, and waited, and waited...

At my karaoke there is a rule: NO POTTY MOUTH! (Does not mean I can't pee in my pants.)_

If I am such a nothing, why am I here, why do they care, they are robots like me, under control, falling into the field of emptiness, entering space and void, then why do they want eggs for breakfast?

The ONE EYED GREEN SWEDE KNIGHT BEGAN STIRRING IN HIS GRAVE AS ENGLAND WAS STIRRING! THE TEA! THE TEA! he moaned.

The ducks began bickering and bitching, so they took to twitter!

Inside MOOSES MOUTH WAS "SMILEY TEETH", advanced tech for frowning, and moping!

Suddenly a moose arrived in Siberia, but he had new false teeth!

Muscle Men of the Future to leap off their computer chairs and perform power squats to an excited audiance!

Doctor Doom to enter the Russian World from Latveria, which is not Latvia because they are not odd, they get even.

The ducks are serious this time and are going to drop lethal turds.

Setting: Inside a dark, echoing bathroom plumbing line, right before a major flushing event.Urine: (Splashing aggressively against the ceramic walls) Look at you, slacking off as usual! I’m in and out of here six times a day, keeping this body filtered and clean. You show up once—maybe twice if the human had a fiber bar—and expect a standing ovation. You're slow, you're heavy, and you take forever to get ready!Poop: (Thudding heavily into the water, sending up a massive splash) Slow? It’s called craftsmanship, you watery amateur! You’re just 95% water and a little bit of leftover urea. You require zero effort. I am the grand finale of a 24-hour digestive masterpiece! I represent the steak, the potatoes, the complex carbohydrates! I have structure. I have presence.Urine: Presence? You mean odor! You completely ruin the atmosphere the second you walk into the room. People have to light matches and turn on exhaust fans just to survive your presence. When I arrive, it’s a quick, polite zip and a wash of the hands. I am civilized.Poop: Oh, don't act so pure. You turn bright neon yellow if the human takes a single multivitamin! And let's talk about urgency—you make the human panic and run like a maniac just because a movie ran over two hours. I have discipline. I give a polite, rumbling warning hours in advance.Urine: (Steaming slightly) I am the frontline defense of the kidneys! Without me, the system shuts down from toxic buildup in days. You're just the stuff the body couldn't even use. You're literally the leftovers!Poop: Leftovers? I am the ultimate metric of gut health! Doctors study my shape, my color, and my consistency on a chart like it's fine art. No one is out here making a "Bristol Stool Chart" for your boring splash patterns.The Toilet Handle: (CLANK)Urine: (Swirling rapidly in circles) Uh oh. Here comes the swirl!Poop: (Sinking into the vortex) See you in the septic tank, water-boy!