We think with our head, but live in our heart!


STAR WARS TEACHES GOOD PEOPLE THAT THEY CAN'T EXPECT TO DEFEAT EVIL THEY CAN AT LEAST FIGHT IT!


You can be my special pen pal if vou dare write me at mark_guttman@yahoo.com and also receive a stylish hair cut!


Never date a woman with a spiked combat bra on!

At least for self preservation reasons!

How to lose while winning online!

Dedicate your entire life to improving your internet reputation and try to beat Kim Kardasion at her own game as likes on selfiez increase you become great and therefore popular as fans do indeed love you!  Not to mention the art done of your face may increase you to super famedom.  Then you will be a God or Goddess!

What more could a person want from life?

If you know please tell me because I can't think of anything, plus I'm to star struck to think of anything right now anyway!!!!!!!!

Setting: Inside a dark, echoing bathroom plumbing line, right before a major flushing event.Urine: (Splashing aggressively against the ceramic walls) Look at you, slacking off as usual! I’m in and out of here six times a day, keeping this body filtered and clean. You show up once—maybe twice if the human had a fiber bar—and expect a standing ovation. You're slow, you're heavy, and you take forever to get ready!Poop: (Thudding heavily into the water, sending up a massive splash) Slow? It’s called craftsmanship, you watery amateur! You’re just 95% water and a little bit of leftover urea. You require zero effort. I am the grand finale of a 24-hour digestive masterpiece! I represent the steak, the potatoes, the complex carbohydrates! I have structure. I have presence.Urine: Presence? You mean odor! You completely ruin the atmosphere the second you walk into the room. People have to light matches and turn on exhaust fans just to survive your presence. When I arrive, it’s a quick, polite zip and a wash of the hands. I am civilized.Poop: Oh, don't act so pure. You turn bright neon yellow if the human takes a single multivitamin! And let's talk about urgency—you make the human panic and run like a maniac just because a movie ran over two hours. I have discipline. I give a polite, rumbling warning hours in advance.Urine: (Steaming slightly) I am the frontline defense of the kidneys! Without me, the system shuts down from toxic buildup in days. You're just the stuff the body couldn't even use. You're literally the leftovers!Poop: Leftovers? I am the ultimate metric of gut health! Doctors study my shape, my color, and my consistency on a chart like it's fine art. No one is out here making a "Bristol Stool Chart" for your boring splash patterns.The Toilet Handle: (CLANK)Urine: (Swirling rapidly in circles) Uh oh. Here comes the swirl!Poop: (Sinking into the vortex) See you in the septic tank, water-boy!