What am I most for that can be done and say online?

That already RULES out a lot.

Yes I should be the the supreme ruler of the earth because I have a good head of hair.

In my world all midgets will become Napoleon like five star generals.

Philistines and compulsive LIARS will be metemorphized into giant roaches.

Our planet will actually perform some kind of sex act with Venus and a strange male sea creature will appear at Starbucks.

Lastly just staring at a smart phone will create deadly superpowers for the powerful.

All people who still listen to the Beatles will experience improved imaginations.

And lastly zombies to become highly sexy and chased around publicly by the aroused masses.