Trigger Warning: Greatest American prose.

The best thing Americans got from the political class is this:

When I was a soldier lad deep in the heaert of Ireland I was given weapons to play with. So to splice an apple in half to myself in that. Then more tricks, card tricks and clever gamee, to the beach a castle was born and in my hand a bloody sword, and I was once a lad, but now a man?

Weary of war yet?

Witness courage!