I REACHED TO THE UNIVERSE AND WAS GIVEN SLIME MOLD, AND I THANKED IT.

I think she needs me, and then all her problems will be solved, but she needs the key to my heart, and that is hidden in a safe place, there she sneaks, but there are snakes, the wizards wily ways, the man in blue has tickets to his show, and shows you the way, to him, but he is not himself, he is lying on the floor, go to him now!

I got a woman's phone number today.

On national underwear brand day, if you are wearing Fruit of the Loom or Hannes you will be required to remove them and place them on your head to gain perspective.

From its inception the universe exploded from a timeless single point, and was destined to resemble a penis, which has made us bump into the vagina universe, creating dangerous vaginal waves.

I want to thank the nice people out there that I probably will never meet, that have added to my understanding of how good people can be.

I asked her what she thought about freedom of speech. She spoke beautifully about the passion of New York, as if it was a living thing she gave birth to. She said that with out free speech democracy quickly dies and is replaced by the party that repressed it. That party will eventually turn more and more evil only proving that free speech, even messy harmful speech is far better than the alternative. And she said sometimes the worst speech gives birth to the best things in the world: like America.

Thanks to my weak performance she embraced my dog. They were close friends soon after and would run in circles together. I on the other hand would spend the rest of my life knitting and sitting of statues.