When someone is being too nice it's a strong clue you are being fooled by someone who isn't.

Never throw out creepy people, save them for later.

Nobody is charming and ignorant at the same time.

A textbook is a thing designed to hit you in the head.

One of the symptoms of a creative person is the terrible desire to create.

If we all began as eggs we should try to evolve a bit.

Since she was dead, I couldn't understand why she wanted my body. Perhaps I am that sexy.

Men might shy away from romance, but as a writer it is better not to.

I like to fly, but prefer boats, trains, and my imagination.

She accused me of being a player, and I responded: Yea I do, when I play bingo.

Since we last checked there are no dictators with big dicks. You were lied to.