I WAS JUST LIVING IN A FANTASY WORLD, AND IT SEEMED SO IMPORTANT, THEN THE WALLS COLLAPSED, I GRABBED A BIG GUN AND FIRED IT OFF, THE RATS RAN IN CIRCLES, I ATE SOME CHEESE, I STOPPED EATING CHEESE, i WENT TO SLEEP AND FELT COZY. H0W WAS YOUR NIGHT?

Simon Moos @smoos_tweets · Mar 30 Translated from French The jubilant relish with which—from the President of the Republic to the lowliest thug on social media—every action and gesture of Israel is subjected to relentless scrutiny is profoundly unhealthy. No other country in the world is examined, debated, and held to such unrealistic and unjust expectations to this degree. The slightest misstep, the tiniest management failure, provides its detractors with the chance to cry havoc and unleash the dogs of war. Even under a sky pelted with ballistic missiles, Israel is never entirely innocent of the security inconveniences inflicted on those who wish to enjoy its religious heritage. While in France the President warns of the risks of interference, he grants himself the pontificating role of chief commentator on the private affairs of the Hebrew state. The special relationship that France, by virtue of its conquering history, maintains with Jerusalem has for too long given the Quai d’Orsay the illusion of a right to intrusive oversight of the internal affairs of the Jewish state. Like it or not, the land of Israel is no longer an Oriental protectorate, nor a province where self-appointed prosecutors can vent their frustrations. Let it be remembered that this land was decolonized by its indigenous people, and that the symbolic privileges other states believe they hold in its capital depend solely on Israel’s goodwill. Israel is a sovereign Jewish state, and its capital is Jerusalem.

WE END UP WITH A WORLD THAT KNOWS MORE ABOUT THE MIDDLE EAST, ESPECIALLY ISRAEL, THEN THE CITY THEY LIVE IN. THAT'S WHY PEOPLE SHOULD GET A LIFE OR AT LEAST TAKE A WALK AROUND AND LOOK AT TREES AND BIRDS.

YOU THINK THIS BUS RIDE IS BAD, THEN GET OFF THE BUS, WE GOT PLACES TO GO, AND YOU MIGHT CHANGE YOUR MIND, BUT THERE WILL BE NO BUS AROUND, NOBODY TO SAVE YOU, SO MAKE UP YOUR MIND, WE GOT PLACES TO GO.

YOU COULD SEE THE PROBLEMS MILES AWAY, AND YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE VERY CYNICAL, ITS NOT AN EASY GAME TO WIN, BUT IT SURE BEATS LOSING.

MEET TRUMP: REPORTER: Iran threatened U.S. tech companies. TRUMP: With what? What the hell did they threaten them with? Slingshots? Love notes? They’ve got nothing left, absolutely nothing to threaten anybody with JOURNALIST: My question for you is... TRUMP: No, no, wait. You made a statement like it was serious. What did they threaten them with? Tell me. Enlighten me. What was the threat? JOURNALIST: All I know is that they threatened them, sir. TRUMP: “All I know is that they threatened them”? Is that journalism now? Repeating gossip without knowing what you’re talking about? What does that even mean exactly? Did they send them an angry emoji on WhatsApp? JOURNALIST: Alright... TRUMP: Did they say something “unpleasant”? Did they write “I hate you” on a napkin? You don’t even know what the threat was! You know what they’re not gonna do? They’re not gonna attack anybody with a nuclear weapon! Because they can’t even afford to buy a toy missile. They don’t even know what they’re talking about! Pathetic.