If your ex wife starts speaking backwards then marry her twice.

Instead of Jiggle Bells, try Jingle Balls!

Don't eat a pizza if it starts moaning.

New brilliant idea: PUPPIES NOT GRENADES!

At least Hamas left us a teleportation device.

Cows are going to protest in latest urban stampede.

Hail Mary is to be changed to Heil Mary? But why?

This time I think I will try baptism by sink.

Score for Isreal!

The big drama could simmer into shmores and ocean breeze.

Local protester says: You haven't seen the last of me, I'm here to show you, and I will show them, and I'll put on a protest like no other, and they will worship me! Forever!