We love ourselves too often and need reach out much more often. It is a social responsibility and it effects the environment also.
Dear Mark, I’m proud to share highlights of American Jewish Committee’s impact in 2025. Amid ongoing global challenges, AJC continued to lead as the global advocacy organization for the Jewish people—making important strides to ensure that Jews and Israel are safe and thriving. Through our 40 offices across six continents, AJC empowered leaders in government, education, partner communities, and the private sector to act as allies and take action to counter antisemitism and support Israel. Below are just some of the ways AJC has leveraged our trusted partnerships with leaders to drive impact. None of this would be possible without your commitment and support. Together, we are shaping a better future for Israel and the Jewish people. We look forward to all we will accomplish together in 2026. Am Yisrael Chai. Ted Deutch AJC Chief Executive Officer Edward and Sandra Meyer Office of the CEO
Fight on the front line to save humanity. GUIDE FOR THE PERPLEXED Kesher Families helps Orthodox parents with ‘Godly mission’ of embracing their LGBTQ+ children The organization was launched by the dean emeritus of Yeshiva University's rabbinic program, whose son came out as gay at 15, in light of numerous calls for help from families Noam Galai/Getty Images A person wears a Pride-themed yarmulke in the West Village in New York City on June 26, 2020. By Jay Deitcher February 9, 2026 Share Facebook Twitter Email Print Friendly, PDF & Email Add EJP on Google When their then 15-year-old son came out as gay 15 years ago, Rebbetzin Adeena and Rabbi Menachem Penner didn’t have anyone to turn to. At the time, Menachem was dean of the Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary at Yeshiva University, the face of one of American Orthodoxy’s flagship institutions. He knew no organization to reach out to and no rabbis he felt would understand. So for five years, the couple kept it to themselves, sending their son, Gedalia, to conversion therapy. Today, the couple sees conversion therapy as unproductive and potentially harmful — to the individual and the Jewish community — something that stole five years from them that they could have used bonding with their son. It’s been linked to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicidal thoughts, but at the time, it was the norm in the Orthodox world, and their son agreed to participate in it, yearning for a traditional life that he too saw as the goal. But as Gedalia turned 20, as a student at YU, he began embracing his identity, experimenting with his dress. He would show up in his father’s office with long hair and a tank top, and it became something they couldn’t hide – it was also something his father didn’t want him to feel like he had to hide. Desperate to support their son as he shaped his identity, Adeena and Menachem finally found someone to talk to, another Orthodox rabbi who understood that their son wasn’t trying to upset them or rebel against Judaism — this was who he was, and as hard as the situation was to navigate for them, coming out was that much more difficult for him. “Thank God, Gedalia was hanging on for all of this because it was a little bit rocky at certain points,” Adeena admitted to eJewishPhilanthropy. “We figured it out together, and thank God, we saved our relationship.” Wanting to help other families save their relationships, too, the couple founded Kesher Families in 2022, an organization that supports the parents of LGBTQ+ children, so they can be there for their kids, realizing what a gift it is that their children chose to share this part of their life with them. After four years, they are pushing the organization to become more public-facing, bringing the message to a larger audience that loving your children for who they are is one of the biggest mitzvot. This is occurring at a time when many in the Orthodox world are becoming more understanding of sexual orientation. “God understood that this was going to be your family, and this isn’t an accident,” Menachem said. Parenting is a “Godly mission… Probably our most important mission.” His role as a father was even more important than his job at RIETS, he said. Others could be dean, but no one else could be Gedalia’s dad. Although parenting a queer child in the Orthodox community can be challenging, it was the mission the Penners were chosen to do, he said, and they are not alone. Kesher was started because of demand. People noticed the way the Penners supported Gedalia and turned to them, yearning to learn how they too could embrace their kids. After Gedalia and Menachem appeared on the “18Forty Podcast” in 2021, speaking about their experience, calls flooded into the Penners, their table often circled with other families navigating territory they never imagined they would travel, but determined to go the journey together. “We just couldn’t handle the volume of people that were coming forward texting us and calling us,” Menachem said. “This wasn’t something that, as two individuals, we could do. We needed to bring on mental health professionals and [other Jewish leaders who were experts on the subject of supporting LGBT+ loved ones.]” Today, Kesher has two full-time employees, including Adeena and a director of operations, and six part-time therapists. Menachem, who is the executive vice president of the Rabbinical Council of America, now dean emeritus of RIETS, still works at Kesher for free. “Part-time,” he said, pausing before adding, “I wish it were part-time.” Kesher offers individual sessions, in-person or virtual, in English, Hebrew and Yiddish, group therapy, community programs and scholar-in-residence events for lay leaders, rabbis, rebbetzins, professionals and families, and the group holds a yearly parent Shabbaton. “We’re still reaching only a fraction of the people that are out there,” Menachem said. One of the rabbis who works part-time at Kesher is the first rabbi the Penners reached out to, Chaim Rapoport, whose book Judaism and Homosexuality: An Authentic Orthodox View opened the door to the community being more accepting of their queer members. The other Kesher rabbi is Yakov Horowitz, whose LGBTQ+ advocacy is his “third rodeo.” A former eighth-grade teacher in Borough Park, Brooklyn, and then founding dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam in the upstate New York Haredi town of Monsey, Horowitz made a name for himself supporting at-risk youth who were “abandoning religion and or abandoning life,” he told eJP, and taking aim at sexual predators in the Orthodox community. “I stay grounded and really try to keep my eyes and ears open,” Horowitz said. “I notice situations, talk about them to raise public awareness, and then I try to solve them, like what can we do about it?” Eight years ago, Horowitz published a video on Facebook about the importance of supporting LGBTQ+ youth. It got 15,000 views overnight, and his phone exploded with parents and kids yearning for help. He recognizes that he has a “public voice, which I always felt a tremendous responsibility to use wisely to try and make positive change.” This empathetic yet powerful voice is one of the reasons he was brought on board at Kesher, to bring more awareness to their work. “I am often a little provocative, but mostly to do it in a way that generates positive change, rather than just venting and getting people more frustrated.” The first thing parents should say if a child comes out to them is, “I’m so glad that you were comfortable talking to me or us,” Horowitz said. Parents don’t have to react right away, but they should say that “We love you. We will always love you. We’ll figure this out together. There’s a lot we don’t know right now. We need to investigate things, collect information and find resources. But we’re here with you.” While Kesher supports families, they don’t get involved in communal issues, Horowitz said. “Ultimately, synagogues, institutions, schools, whatever, they have autonomy. They’re making their own decisions. When people ask me questions, I’ll discuss it with them, but we all have a limited amount of time, and focus is very important, so I stick to the family unit, helping parents help their children as best they can.” Some congregations are more accepting of LGBTQ+ individuals and their families than others, Horowitz said. “Not every synagogue is going to be right for every family.” There has always been an understanding that not all Jews follow every single law, he said. Following Jewish laws is not all or nothing. “That’s just been a baked-in understanding.” If an Orthodox Jew doesn’t keep Shabbat privately, no one will know, but the LGBTQ+ discussion is more public facing and charged with emotion. But there is a shift happening within the Orthodox community, he said, even in the most right-wing circles, and the younger generation, rabbis included, are much more aware of sexual identity. “That’s going to be a big shift. It is already.” When 75 Orthodox rabbis — most of whom identify with the more progressive wing of Modern Orthodoxy — signed a “Prohibition Against Advising People to Attempt Conversion Therapy,” Adeena was heartened to hear others speaking out. Kesher employees didn’t sign the document because they simply did not know about it. “Kesher Families neither refers families to reparative therapy nor encourages rabbis to do so,” she said. “Where we would sign a public statement sponsored by a different group would depend on many factors besides our view of reparative therapy itself.” Many Jews don’t realize that not only is it permitted to maintain a relationship with their LGBTQ+ child, but “it’s a mitzvah,” Menachem said. “It’s what God expects of them. He doesn’t expect them to distance themselves from their children.” While some of Kesher’s programming carries costs, such as its Shabbaton — with plenty of scholarships available — its individual and group services are free, and this is by design. “The concern is that people are so hesitant to come forward that we don’t want to add another barrier,” Menachem said. “Even if we charged a small amount, it would just be another reason to push off the call [or] to not call.” Charles and Lynn Schusterman Family Philanthropies helped launch Kesher, and today the nonprofit also receives funding from Micah Philanthropies, UJA-Federation of New York and the Aviv Foundation. Its annual budget is $700,000. “We know that LGBTQ individuals and their families face significant headwinds in most Orthodox spaces, and we at the Aviv Foundation believe that Kesher Families and leaders like Rabbi and Mrs. Penner provide critical connection points and compassion within communities and families,” Adam Simon, CEO of the Aviv Foundation, told eJP. Ann and Jeremy Pava, the president and chairman of Micah Philanthropies, respectively, told eJP that they “chose to support Kesher Families because we’ve seen firsthand how transformative it can be when families are given the tools and community they need to thrive. Kesher Families is creating lasting impact, and we’re proud to help fuel that work.” Kesher also has had a lot of success with crowdfunding. “People in the Orthodox world want families to stay together and want this to work,” Menachem said. “They’re just not exactly sure how to make it work.” There are plenty of organizations that work with Orthodox LBTQ+ individuals, such as Footsteps and JQY, but “In order to really gain the confidence of one of the two sides, you have to sort of be on one side of the table, even if your goal is to keep [families] together,” Menachem said. “I don’t think if we were servicing the LGBTQ individuals and their parents, that we’d have the confidence of the parents.” Each organization plays an important role. Being outspoken about how he has navigated parenting, especially when it became difficult, makes him a better rabbi, Menachem said. Even though there have been plenty of people who have told him and his family not to speak about LGBTQ+ issues, many more have connected with them because of it. “People are looking for leaders and role models [who] are real people and struggling with real things in their own families and in their own lives.” The Penners never recommend a family break off connection to one another, but there are times things don’t work out. “We don’t need to recommend it,” Menachem said. “Unfortunately, in those cases, there are cases where families just cannot be together. It’s often not the parents. It’s usually a sibling or something that just can’t make it work.” They are grateful to have a flourishing relationship with all their kids, including Gedalia. When the family was wrestling with Gedalia coming out of the closet, his mother once asked him why he was rebelling. “Mommy, I want all the same things you and abba have,” Gedalia said, using the Hebrew word for father. “I want a family. I want a Shabbos table. I want love. I can’t have that with a woman. I’m just not attracted to women.” Realizing that fact was a turning point in their relationship. Today, Gedalia is the only Penner child who went into the family business, so to speak. He’s a former member of Jewish a cappella groups, including the Y-Studs and The Maccabeats, is married and works as a cantor serving in the Conservative TCS-Westport synagogue in Connecticut. Every week, new families reach out to Kesher for intakes, especially after recent appearances by Menachem and Horowitz on the “Orthodox Conundrum” podcast. The Penners are thinking of hiring a third full-time staff member. “I can’t see a scenario where families are calling and we’re not able to service them,” Menachem said. “There’s too much on the line.”
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